Want to enlarge your.....WHAT?

Dear Lisa Marcell,

I am a healthy 30 something male. I have no known health concern except for what is called neuroectodermal appendage. My question is this; I recently saw an infomercial that was for "that certain part of the male anatomy". This commercial made a lot of sense to me. So I ordered this all natural herbal product. After taking said product for 2 weeks I started to notice a big change! Unfortunately my neuroectodermal appendage began to grow! (Also known as a Human Tail) It grew 2 inches. This was not the desired affect. So I called the company and all I got from thier customer service department was heavily accented laughter.

Lisa Marcell, what do I do now? Please help. I have included a picture for you.

From,

Livin lovita loca in Logan




Dear Livin Lovita Loca in Logan,

Although growing your tail may not have been the desired effect, fate has handed you something even more alluring than an enlarged member of the male anatomy. During a time of economic hardships and instability, you have managed to turn what was once a slight abnormality into a money making scheme! "When life hands you a tail, make money." I think that's how the saying goes.
Start sending out your resume, including a butt shot instead of a head shot. There isn't a circus in the world who wouldn't want you to join their team! You have a profitable business on your hands....errrr, butt. And to quote my dear friend, Ludacris...
"Shake, shake, shake yo' money maker!"

Good luck in the circus and I hope everything shakes out well for you, Lisa Marcell